This is the imperative to the point that in Paulo Coelho's book "The Alchemist" (1988), I've read recently is in the center.
I had my dream - if you will - just before I was 19: I pulled myself - if my memory deceive me not - in late November / early December 1983, during football matches in the gym class at the vocational secondary school in Zurich a torn ligament in right ankle, was a few days later at the Cantonal Hospital Winterthur operated on and underwent surgery shortly thereafter in the same place as a result of infection in the wound. This extended is my usual 5 days of hospitalization in the long 3 weeks, so I was only released at Christmas of the drugs outside veruntstaltet, emaciated and weakened physical home.
Even when doctors determined her knowledge and her routine in the infection is by far not felt to be as serious as I and my father - I felt at that time close to death, since as near as never even close. What the doctors was only an infection, that was for me without doubt and without Exaggerating my personal experience of death - my first and only. Also in the following months and years, this thought came back more often than any other, when I thought back to those days.
This event rocked my life to its foundations. It was such a deep and extensive experience, as I have not seen the second in my entire life so far. After that I could not possibly go on as before. It was everything I experienced before, felt and thought was in the shade. With it, my self-conscious life and put my changes as the seasons repeated search for the meaning one. - William James says in his book "The diversity of religious experience" (1901 / 2) of the "twice born" in contrast to the only "born again".
I finished my apprenticeship as an electronics engineer but still down, my enthusiasm for everything connected with it, but was virtually extinguished, and the associated very promising future for me were not only become meaningless it seemed to me then my just awakened sometimes even help shape development already threatening be. This deal was a social concession, from which you will encounter on my life over again which, concessions and got to where I am, however, always a conscious decision to be received and to date I have never regretted. Well they were not included in my formless dream, well they were foreign to him, he seemed not to resist or even hostile to him to be. I even wrote on the first and then still only a pilot plant for computer science in Brugg / Windisch, but knew well that this could only be a reminiscence or a relic of my passion as an apprentice and that I basically already ld NGST wanted somewhere else entirely. In this inscription, it was not a concession, but more like something like a self-runner or a routine in a way long ago. As each image is lagging so on the following, but if you step on the brakes, it takes depending on the speed at which you drive, for a while, until the car stops. Man is always in an inescapable network of relationships and untentwirrbaren, which only come to recognize and resolve or change and to which I add only new is needed before one can rightly claim that they themselves - and the means above all always its environment - has actually changed - and that can take a very long time and is certainly accompanied by countless setbacks. In that sense, I think Coelho's much-touted "beginners luck" for a self-deception, not to say - for a trap.
I had by far not so clear and distinct dream like Coelho's 18 year-old Portagonist Santiago (He appears a child leads him to Egypt to the pyramids, where it says to him.: "If you come here, then you will find a hidden treasure." As it wants to show him the exact spot, he awakened. This is his dream, he dreams twice) -. At least I can not think of a pass - but at least I have something like a vague, very vague idea have had. From that time is perhaps my belief that I know more concretely what I will not, but what I want. And this belief may of course be used as a simple exploratory tool in the most rudimentary search for what I want. I had no gypsy and no king Melchizedek at, which would have interpreted my dreams with such authority that they had for me as for Santiago to peremptory instructions can be. I can not even look at something like a kindred spirit in my near and distant not remember in my surroundings and my father, my plan was inside and also facing outward only negative. I was not a Delphic oracle is available that would have geweissgesagt my fate twice so unmistakably like Oedipus, a prophecy which was of the same clarity as Santiago's dream. It seemed likely before as if I were inspired by the Apollo Pythia babbling across the street and you would for ordinary ears like the murmur of my unintelligible without the mediation of its outline, interpret poetically gifted clergy to get heard. Even the 37-year Jean-Jacques Rousseau seems to be a visionary enlightenment to be clear and kicked clear in mind, on the way to Denis Diderot in prison in Vincennes in 1749 all his future work and how his bdquo ; Confessions and can see more detail his letters to Malesherbes; different it was with me, the never show the slightest of his dream has come "to face". For me it was probably more like the 22 year old Heinrich von Kleist in search of his personal fortune, as he in his letter dated 18th March 1799 to Christian Fritz Martini developed. Whether I was in this early phase as Santiago "beginners luck" had, I really can not remember the best of intentions, after all, it took 9 years before I finally did what the content of my so-called dream I never properly Meaning "seen" or "experienced", have been must be, at least I felt it was his performance, as I in November 1992 in Munich began my study of philosophy.
Shueis "answer" in German: http://shuei.livejournal.com/ # post-5911-shuei and in Russian: http://shuei.livejournal.com/ # post- shuei -5801.
And my "response" to the "response": http://bunte-steinchen.livejournal.com/2010/12/11/ .
